An Intentional Holiday Season
When I stop speeding through life, I find the joy in each day’s doings, in the life that cannot be bought, but only discovered, created, savored, and lived.
Katrina Kenison
We are nearly halfway through the month of December. How is your holiday season feeling to you so far? Take a moment to check in with yourself. Go ahead. I can wait…
What just came up for you?
Are you feeling…
Empowered?
Overwhelmed?
Resentful?
Intentional?
Sad?
Excited?
THE TRAP
The holiday season often takes on a pace of its own. Have you noticed this? Without a clear vision of what makes the season fulfilling to us, we can end up feeling wasted, depleted, sad, and in debt in no time! Not to mention, this time of year comes with cultural messages and expectations that can set us up for failure, when our experiences fail to measure up to the images on our screens. Let’s be clear—it is common this time of year to remember family trauma or to feel the loss of those who are no longer with us. We may feel adrift in our own families or extended families. Or with ourselves, in our own lives. And these tender feelings can feel especially raw when we watch repeated media images of grandparents, parents, and children gathering together for the holidays—always so happy and smiling. The families show up well dressed and attractive, as they eat the most appealing meals, all while chatting around a wonderfully set table. Or maybe the families are gathered in their matching pajamas, smiling as they greet those perfectly wrapped presents sitting under a tree that looks like was dressed by Pottery Barn. The house is always clean. Everyone looks so cheerful and loved.
These unrealistic expectations can really backfire as we compare our reality to the holiday commercials or Hallmark movies or Instagram feeds. Feel free to take a step back from the media and see the intention behind these messages. One message seems to be that happiness and love can be purchased. Buy it now! Happiness is all about what it looks like and appears. The truth is that many of us are lucky enough to already have what we need. It may not look like the images on our screens (mostly because they aren’t real) but we do have spaces in our lives where we can feel a sense of peace, love, and joy. It comes from us. Take time to feel what you feel this season. Tend to it. Be aware of it. And process it.
You may want to consider a few questions as you strive to consciously create your own experience. Here are some to begin with.
What do you want to spend your time and energy creating for yourself and for those you love this holiday season?
What are your values? Is your calendar lining up with those values? Are you feeling a resonance with your inner desire and your outer life lived?
HERE ARE A FEW OF MY HOLIDAY INTENTIONS…
Gather with the Dehlin family for moments of sharing. We love watching holiday movies, enjoying meals, playing games, and getting outdoors. We offer invitations only. No pressure to show up (especially with our adult children who are amidst creating holiday traditions of their own). We tend to value one on one dates, as well as bonding with a few children at a time, as a substitute for trying to create the “ideal” of getting the entire family together in a way that feels grasping instead of natural. We do live in the same city all year long (and regularly enjoy one another!)
Spend time in nature (taking walks, snowshoeing, and/or snowboarding with family or alone)
Tend to healthy habits (eating consciously, sleeping well, moving my body, meditating). I am currently practicing yoga twice a week and meditating more as I find I benefit from more grounding work this time of year. Adjust your own health practices as necessary. You matter!
Enjoy a gathering or two with our closest friends
Purchase mindfully (focusing on experiences/gifts that will be used)
Schedule/allow for time to enjoy the simple pleasures of the season (sitting by the fire, sipping on hot drinks, reading a good book, watching movies, taking warm baths, savoring my cozy clothes, listening to Christmas music, making our favorite meals and treats, etc…)
Focus on cherishing what we have. Contemplate ways we can give back. What causes are worth our time, energy and money in the next year?
WHAT I WILL LET GO OF THIS SEASON…
Creating an ornately decorated home with all the frills
Spending a lot of money on gifts we don’t need
Attending every extended family gathering (especially since we live near our family all year long)
Having every family member show up to every invitation
Expecting that every moment will be filled with peace, harmony, and joy
Controlling my family’s experience of the season
WHAT ARE YOUR HOLIDAY INTENTIONS OR VALUES? WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO LET GO OF? I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ANY THOUGHTS YOU HAVE AROUND CREATING AN INTENTIONAL HOLIDAY. KNOW THAT I AM WISHING YOU MY BEST AS YOU CREATE A HOLIDAY SEASON FOR YOURSELF AND THOSE YOU LOVE.